The day I started Sunshine + Glow I was sitting in this same living room, on the same sofa, in my mum's house. It was the end of 2014 and it had been a hell of a year, good and bad.
There had been some events that had changed my life, from the happiness of a house move and a new beginning to the deep sadness of losing one of my good friends to cancer only a year after losing my dad. I was making changes to my lifestyle and was learning about so much that I needed to share it with whoever would listen. I'd always loved to write, but writing in English was going to be a challenge, and I was ready to face it head on.
I started on the free Blogger platform, which was really ugly, taking awful photos, posting every week about recipes I liked and were what I considered healthy, about beauty products I enjoyed (I LOVE talking about skincare and make up and never do in my everyday life). I started reading lots of other blogs, commenting on them, receiving comments and connecting with a wider community of people who also wrote as a hobby, who loved some of the things I did.
Soon enough and as I got the hang of the writing, I wanted to go further, worked with the talented Helen Barlow of One Line Studio. Initially I wanted a logo, but I ended up with so much advice about photography, use of colour, fonts… I built the site you are reading this on myself in the evenings and feel so damn proud of it. For five minutes I felt like a blogger. Shallow, I know!
However, I have been struggling to write for the blog lately. I like to write about things that matter to me, however deep or frivolous, and for the past 6 months what has mattered to me is so personal, so private, that I want to keep it that way. The part about my mother’s illness is not mine to share carelessly, for it affects her. The part about moving to a different country, changing career, becoming a part time carer, dropping the ego and what you expected your life to be, moving in with your mum… well, I am still navigating it, processing it, and I do not feel ready to talk about it in a balanced way. I save all the unbalanced for my journal, which is seeing more action than ever! However, I will say that despite the tough bits, on the whole I am really ok and as I said in my previous post, I am adoring the Spanish summer. This is being a truly transformational time, and those times are bloody hard and beautiful at the same time.
On the other hand, I have kind of fallen out of love with blogs. Does anyone who doesn’t write them read them anymore? Is it the best way to achieve what I wanted when I started? I set out to explore my writing, to learn new skills like building a site and indulge in my love for beautiful images. Along the way I also wanted to share what I was doing to live a happier, healthier, more fulfilling life, always dancing on the edge of appearing too much of a holy wholesome goody two shoes. Honestly, I don't think I got that dance right many times.
It feels now is the perfect moment to call it a day, to feel grateful for all the fun I had, all the excitement when people commented, when friends told me they liked what they read. I still plan to carry on incorporating creativity in my life, but in other ways, and will always try to be as happy and healthy as possible, with some inevitable detours into the unhealthy and unhappy. From a practical point of view, I am leaving the website up for a few months and keeping the domain, as it took me ages to come up with the name and I think it might be helpful for something I have in mind…
Lots of love