Christmas has been a bittersweet time for my family during the past few years. It is always a special time because I live in a different country to them, so we always look forward to spending a couple of weeks together, but any of you who have lost someone very close to you will know how hard it can be and how much more you miss them during this time of the year.
For the past two years I dreaded Christmas and spent Christmas Day as far from social media as possible, as each photo of someone looking very happy with their families was a reminder of what it used to feel like and what it would never feel like again for me.
And it's true, this is a time that will never feel the same, nor should we try for it to be the same. In that simple statement is where I have found the key to feel ok these days. This year I am beginning to look at Christmas in a different way, with fresh eyes, not expecting it to feel a certain way, not comparing it to how it would feel having both my parents here. Today I am just having a nice day with my mum, brother and my uncle and aunt who are visiting, I am thinking I had a lovely time catching up with two of my oldest friends last night and looking forward to see all my cousins on the 26th for our family's annual get together. None of it makes me feel festive, but that is ok.
Today I just wanted to take a couple of minutes to say to anyone who is having a tough time this Christmas missing a loved one or for other reasons, that it is ok to not feel 100%, that it is ok to get emotional and have a cry when you miss them, that it is absolutely fine to have a good day as well. However you feel today, that is how you are meant to feel. Be nice to yourself and try and enjoy the time with those who you do have around you.
Have the best Christmas you can!